Connor Is Awesome

As far as dream women go, January Jones is right near the top of my lists.  She’s like a hotter version of the hottest girl I could ever possibly conceive being able to sleep with.

Changing pace, Jason Sudeikis seems like a cool guy. I’ve enjoyed him on SNL and have always thought he was funny and will be a big time star one day.

They are together, Jason and January. And I’m not jealous.  I would do horrible things to be with January Jones. And I like Jason Sudeikis enough to appreciate a funny guy getting good ass.

It’s weird though, if she was banging one of my close friends, I’d be so insanely jealous.  How can I be happy for some dude I don’t know and would probably ignore me if I said hello to, but when it comes to someone who has been my good friend for years, I would get so angry.  Is it because I know what pieces of shit my friends really are?  I’m a piece of shit too, so why should I get anything they don’t.  If they were with her, I’d constantly be telling her lies about STDs they have, shitting on their bank account, making fun of their hair or something. Anything so that I could bang her instead.

And I know fully well they’d do the same thing if I ever did get January to be mine.  Because that’s what friends do!

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