Connor Is Awesome

March 9th, 2010. A typical Tuesday? Hardly. For it’s a day that will live in infamy, from here on out.

The only holiday that falls on this day is Cabin Fever Day. Awesome movie, but that’s not what this day refers to. So I am formally abolishing that tradition. And I am now decreeing that from this moment henceforth, March 9th will forever be known as:

National Asher Roth Sucks Day.

I’ll make sure it appears on all officially licensed CIA 2011 calendars. (Oh yea, I’m going to start selling calendars)

As a side note to maybe add legitimacy to my cause: Notorious B.I.G. died on March 9, 1997.

Many people liked him. I did not, but those who did say “rap died on this day”*.

So by claiming the suckiness of Asher Roth, we can give life back to hip hop.

*this may not be true.

Because the chicks would be in their sexy spring wear, and I would see them and totally go back to my dorm room and jack it so hard.

As far as acoustic songs that have stolen my heart, this is right up there with some of the best. Finch’s Once Upon My Nighstand isn’t on Itunes, and I can’t even remember how I heard it the first time. But I think I’ve listened to it well over 500 times. And it’s never steered me wrong. Enjoy.

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Remember this douchebag?

It’s Asher Roth. God what a fagmo this dude was.  If you’re like me and basically the rest of the world, you haven’t heard shit from this dude in about a year.  The gay novelty from his song wore off, and his disappeared. Thank god.  He sucked. I don’t want to say I’m responsible for his miserable failure, but I will anyway. Asher Roth failed because of me, and he will be back to defend his horribleness in next month’s April Madness.

Good God! This is fucking disgusting. I get physically ill looking at this. The website ways about 900 pounds now.

My ass? Kicked.  Cuddys? Remember. Maggies? Remember. Troph? Starting to get Hazy. After that? No clue.

And I think that’s how I’d like to keep it.

To sum up the day, i’ll say it was like the Hangover. Only we weren’t in Vegas, and instead everyone I know was there.

It begins again!!!! The Erin Express is a mere few hours again. I have to load up on protein so I can keep my stamina up throughout the day.  Anyway, last years was as successful as any Erin Express can be, but few predictions came true. But who am I to learn from past mistakes, so we’re going to make some new ones!! Let’s see what I can come up with:

• i’ll drink a more modest 18 beers
• I won’t be wearing the same shirt as a gay dude this year
• i’ll lose a lot of money on the games I’ve bet on today
• cheesesteaks will happen
• i’ll cry but only twice
• i will start or at least be part of either a roaring “MEN” chant or a “Quack” chant
• I’ll spill 3 beers
• I’ll have 5 spilled on me
• I’ll see at least one ex girlfriend, be drunker than her, and fail miserably in trying to have one last go around in a bathroom
• i’ll see about 7 titties
• I’ll regret my decision to wear jeans
• I’ll settle for less
• i’ll spend all $126 that i’m bringing out

To my neighbors,

If you had happened to look out your one upstairs window at 4:42 this afternoon, you could have seen me playing a pretty mean air-guitar and lip-sync to Alkaline Trio’s “Radio” between wipes.  This is just incase you did look out the window at this time and thought I was crazy. Though this post may not be helpful in proving I’m not crazy.

Anyway, here’s the song so you can do it too.

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I came home to my wonderful Amazon delivery.  My floormats got delivered yesterday, along with my new wiper blade, but today was truly something special.  Not only had netflix given me the hangover, but amazon had brought the girl next door and fringe season 1 on blu-ray. Awesome right? Well the best was in the other box.

Clone High. So awesome!!!

It’s going to be a good next week or so of movie watching.

Remember Wrigley’s Winterfresh gum?  The blue pack.  It was the most important thing in preparation for grade school dances, aside from the $5 cover charge.

I think I must’ve kissed over 6 girls with that sweet wintergreen taste in my mouth.  And I bet they all loved it!  I often wonder if the girls cared about me at all, or if they were just whores, using me to save that 25cents on a pack and just tasting the sweet taste off my tongue, and occasionally just stealing the gum right from my mouth.

I wanted their boobies, they wanted my gum. I guess it’s what you would call an even trade.

I had a stick of Big Red today and this is what I thought about with every chew.

And then I cried because I’m 24 now and I fear all my best days are behind me.