Connor Is Awesome

My compulsive gambling begins. Came out on top thanks to prop bets. And I have never been so happy to lose a bet. I like Drew Brees. So him winning doesn’t make me too upset.

Biggest win: Pierre Thomas scoring Saints first touch down netted me 76 bucks.

Biggest Loss: Colts losing cost me $50.

Most Interesting Stat: There are two players in the NFL named Pierre.  And both scored touch downs in the super bowl.

Now I have to bet on…college basketball I guess?  Maybe I’ll put a bunch of money on Team Canada winning at the Winter Olympics.

Remember when that chick hit that other chick with her car? And it was reported she claimed she lost control when she was changing a song on her ipod.  Then everyone got all preachy about how dangerous it was for people to be using their ipods when driving.  Then later it turned out the chick driving was like high, or drunk, or huffing, or something.  And if I’ve learned one thing in my life it’s that the only thing worse at driving than a person who’s high, drunk, or huffing, is a woman who is driving and high, drunk or huffing.

I am a proud user of the ipod in the car.  It holds about 10x’s as many songs as the cds in my cd changer can hold, plus i can put podcasts to listen to on it.  Most podcasts take up a whole cd. So all those people who complained about ipod use in cars, you suck, and I apologize for saying this very delayed.

But since all these people could start facebook groups about petitions to make driving with ipods illegal, I’d like to propose my on petition. “It should be illegal for women to drive.”  Think about it, guys. Have you ever been in a car with a woman driving, and felt safe? No. Not even close.  They don’t look when changing lanes, they rarely use turn signals, they can’t parallel park. Then when they get pulled over, they have no idea what to do. They don’t know what insurance is, what their registration looks like, they just act dumb, but aren’t acting. God help them if a tire goes flat.

Statistically speaking women are responsible for 83% of accidents that occur each day.*

So take that for what it’s worth.

Save A Life, Don’t Let Women Drive.

*stat may not actually be true.

I am unapologetic in my complete and utter obsession of Lost.  As I sit here, I struggle trying to figure out if I’m more anxious for all the awesomeness this last season will encompass, or if I’m more distraught over the void in my life that will be left at season’s (series’) end.  Predictions? Sawyer dies. Jack has something happen I’ll become emotionally invested in. Desmond will supplant himself as one of televisions greatest characters.

I’ll miss it when it’s gone, but I’ll love every second of this season, hoping for answers and an awesome finale.

I hate to criticize people who try to become famous on the internet by putting out their opinions, but not in this case, cause this guy has stupid opinions.  Basically all he’s done is repeat every criticism of McNabb that’s been said on sports radio the last 8 years, and then put them forward like they were original and completely his ideas.

What a nerd.  And some of these aren’t even valid. Taking a sack instead of throwing it away? Does he do this?  I’ve seen numerous plays where he avoids sacks and throws a big play (sometimes after running around for 15 seconds and bombing it to Fred-Ex). Is that what he’s referring too?

I’ll give the guy credit because mocking McNabb is such a rare thing in Philadelphia.  At least he’s forging new roads.  And the video is so cutesy and artsy, I bet he’s very proud of how this video turned out.  I bet this guy has fun editing video on Windows Movie Maker on his cool gateway in his mom’s basement.  Way to go dude. You’re this weeks Connor Is Awesome’s nerdiest nerd in the world.

See that cutie-pie?  That’s Lexi Belle.  She’s a porn star.  That’s about the only picture I could use of her on the web to keep this post from being NSFW.  I think that’s the first time I got to use the Not Safe For Work acronym.  Anyway, most of the guys reading this I’m sure have streaked a monitor to her once or twice.  Perhaps even one or two of the one or two girls who read this site have too. Anyways, I had a dream about her last night.  But this wasn’t like any other dream ever.

I had a dream about a porn star, but it wasn’t a sex dream. It was a dream where I was trying to win her heart through a series of misadventures that all took place at this really awesome swim club.  I didn’t go in the pool at all. But she was in a bikini most of the dream. She never did get naked though. [Insert sad face smiley].

Anyway, I just think it’s weird that I’ve watched the girl do unspeakable things to people of both genders, and different races, and yet when I have open range to use my imagination to do anything i could ever want with her, I’m trying to win her heart.

I must just be an adorable, hopeless romantic.

Hopefully tonight I’ll seal the deal in my dream. Wet Dreamville, here I come!

I was shopping at Kohls tonight to replace the pajama pants I ripped last night.  I went and found they had no normal pajama pants in my size. Then I saw they didn’t have any extra comfy pajama pants in my size.  So my last option was to head to the “Fan Zone” or at least I assume that’s what Kohls calls this section. It’s all the sports gear.

I went to pick up a pair of hopefully Phillies pajama pants, but alas, there were none. It seemed like pajama pants were relegated to college teams.

Slap my ass and call me Susan, because I was shocked when I saw the atrocity Kohls had that they try to pawn off as “selection.”

The only schools Kohls offers are Villanova and Penn State.  There is not a single piece of apparel representing the great Temple University. I’m sure that alone costs them billions of dollars each day in sales.

Shame on you Kohls.

After Bengals’ linebacker Ray Maualuga was arrested on DUI charges the headlines should have read: “Maualuga Finally Earns His Stripes.”

Get it? Because Cincinnati Bengal players frequently get arrested. God that’s a great zinger.

At least that’s what this promises too be. I haven’t watched it because I’m going spoiler free this season.

Kiira Korpi.

Beautiful ain’t she?  Very. She’s a figure skater too. Is she good? I don’t know. Do I care? Not at all. She’s unbelievable. I don’t even know if she speaks english, but who cares.  She’s 21. She’s from Finland. And I’m in love with her.  She kind of looks like Julie Taylor from Friday Night Lights in the picture above. And kinda looks like the chick from Super Troopers in the picture below.

Classic.

I really hope to start using “Oh my FUCKTACKLE!” as a curse from here on out.